The Mystery of the Missing Chicken Leg Piece

This could draw flak from various quarters. Notwithstanding my designation as a final year (who are supposed to be aloof of petty and minor things), this is a controversy that I am determined to address in my blog before graduating.

Indian readers of my blog would not find it difficult to associate with the hostel mess system. For the foreign readers (if any!), a rough analogy would be a catered dormitory/hall of residence but without any kitchen system. So, rather than cook my own food, I depend on the mess for my fooding requirements for a nominal charge. Sounds like a nice little arrangement, but here is the catch. Mess food is possibly the closest I can imagine to what I might be given to eat if I were to serve a term in Kala Pani.

It may sound gross. But even though it is a widely known fact that mess food is nowhere hygienic and close to the minimum prescribed quality (what with stray puppies/dogs and kittens roaming the dining hall!), no attempt has ever been made to change it. The blame has been squarely put on a corrupt bureaucracy that nobody can do anything about. If I were to have lunch, I would wait for a spoon (which would smell of soap water) for 5 minutes near the washing area with flies buzzing around my food plate. The washing procedure has been aptly described as being very efficient, “Dip in hot water, dip in soap water and finally dip in cold water.” While a new dining hall costing 15000,000 INR could be constructed (which eventually served as a ‘pathway’ to exit the first dining hall!), it was considered a waste of resources to buy a handful of new spoons.

Ok Ok. But what is this mumbo jumbo all about? What of the missing leg piece? A simple way to understand this would be a two port network. Dozens of live chickens arrive at the mess in the morning, and after some processing inside a black box, what remains is a few cooked chicken bones (sometimes with a little bit of flesh), invariably without any leg pieces! In one particular instance, a chicken leg was found but with minimal flesh. A possible surmise for this rare occurrence has been attributed to the spread of polio to chickens [really?! ;) ]. If this reminds you of Food Inc., fear not, this is much worse.

The scale at which nutritional deficit occurs in this arrangement is unimaginable. Think of 10,000 students at one IIT and multiply that by the number of IITs in India: 15, and you begin to get a small glimpse into the problem. Every week, without fail (summer, winter or rain), the same course is served for lunch: Chickpea, random vegetables/fish, chickpea, random vegetables/fish, chickpea, random vegetables/fish, chickpea. I have a start up idea for the IITs. One that could compete hand in hand with the “VLCC weight loss program”. Some possible success stories:

“Believe it or not, I lost 5 kgs in one week of mess food. Yes, its disgusting and smelly, but it works!”

“Before coming to IIT, I was always depressed because I was taunted about my weight. Now I am even more depressed but I have lost weight! 15 kgs in two weeks! Beat that.”

A rather clichéd question has been: what purpose would such a critique serve to changing the system? My answer: if we cannot solve it at the ground level, the problem is higher up, or somewhere else. By reaching out to a wider audience, it might be possible to bring in policy changes at different levels. I do not intend to provide any solutions (other than possibly advocating an optional mess system and a more subjective feedback system). This has been discussed over and over at various forums. More than anything else, if there is a willingness to change things, I am sure improvements will happen and for the better. Looking forward to fatter and healthier IITians when I come back to Kgp 5 years from now! ;)

PS1: Writing after a re-a-a-a-lly long gap! :)

PS2: Does this sound like an SOP (Statement of Purpose)? Happens when you’re obsessed with applying to universities!

PS3: This one is a really long (and acerbic?) post, but I hope to receive some interesting and constructive comments!